Television Double Entendres

David Dickinson, talking about an antique door-knocker on Bargain Hunt, said to expert Nigel Smith: "You're a bit of a knockers man." "Yes," he replied. "I've come across quite a few in my time."

Antique expert David Batty examining a bowl with a pineapple shaped lid on Antiques Roadshow, exclaimed: "This is the most magical, wonderful knob I have ever seen."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

Here is Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle a male astronomer for warmth during the eclipse coverage on BBC1 remarked "They seem cold out there they're rubbing each other and he's come in his shorts."

Ken Brown the commentator on Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining up shots at the Scottish Open "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

When Ulrika Jonsson was a humble GMTV weathergirl talking about snowfall when she revealed: "I had a good eight inches last night."

GMTV's Lorraine Kelly: "This year's hairstyle is called a shag and our resident stylist is here to give our model one."

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis' misses every chance he gets."

Asking Carol Voderman to display a word on Countdown Richard Whiteley: "Ah 'ERECTION' let's see it up please Carol."

Beatrice Hillyer was discussing the availability of fresh water in Baghdad when she informed viewers of TVAM: "Just after the liberation I was getting it twice a day in my hotel room."

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, which Bobby Simpson observed: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

Covering the US Masters, Steve Ryder: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

Steve Cram on the men's 200 metres in the World Athletics Championships: "Pumping away, Marlon Devonish has got the Olympic champion inside him."

Chain Letters host Allan Stewart was discussing a 6ft 5in contestant called Richard when he told two women competitors: "That's enough Dick for both of you."

Carenza Lewis (Time Team Live) on finding food in the Middle Ages: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

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