Lands End to John O'Groats

A husband and wife are travelling in their car from Lands End to John O'Groats. After hours on the road they're tired and decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and book a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for £350.

The man demands to know why the bill is so steep. He tells the clerk that although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth £350. When the clerk tells him £350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager.

The manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic sized pool and a conference centre that were available for them to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man explains. "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the manager.

He goes on to explain they could have visited the Michelin-starred restaurant for which the hotel is famous.

"But we didn't go to the restaurant," complains the man again. "Well, you could have," the manager replies.

No matter what facility the manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the manager. The manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque.

"But sir," he says, "this cheque is only made out for £100."

"That's right," says the man. "I charged you £250 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the manager.

"Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have."

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