Dumb blondes

A blonde bird pushes her Punto into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died."

After he works on it for a few minutes it's idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."

She says, "How often do I have to do that?"

Flowers for a blonde

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead saw her boyfriend buying flowers.

The redhead sighed and said, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."

The blonde looked quizzically at her and said, "You don't like getting flowers from your boyfriend?

The redhead said, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

Blonde train journey

In a train carriage there was a Canadian, an American, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happened to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the American had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

1. The blonde thought - "that American son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face"
2. The fat lady thought - "this dirty old American laid his hands on the blond and she smacked him".
3. The American thought - "That f***ing Canadian put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".
4. The Canadian thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that American again".

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